'Murrica. Land of Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of HappYness, (We did that on purpose in case Will Smith is reading - "What up, Hitch?")
The Land of the 2nd Amendment, the 5th Amendment, and a bunch of other Amendments that aren't exactly coming to mind at the moment (probably due to Colorado's 64th Amendment) turns a whopping 240 years old this Monday, July 4th! That's an awful lot of tea parties, ancient Civil War weapons, ridiculous looking powdered wigs, and famine. Fortunately, America is blessed with "tech-mo-logy." We now have the ability to substitute tea parties for pool parties, such as the one a German (some dude named Tiesto) is entertaining crowds at Wet Republic Ultra Pool at the MGM Grand Hotel and Casino this Saturday, July 2. The only weapons we need now are champagne guns at places like Drai's Nightclub where some dudes named Travis Scott, Future, and Trey Songz rhyme/sing/autotune in metered verse while champagne sprays crowds who apparently have really thirsty clothing ("tech-mo-logy," remember)? If all else fails, cap your Independence Day in Vegas with some hashtags and celebrate Post Malone (#whiteiverson) and the goodl ol USA's bdays at Marquee Nightclub inside the uber swanky Cosmopolitan Hotel. Just don't forget to tell your friends, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" while you simultaneously post all of them on Snapchat. Pretty sure there needs to be an Amendment for that.