Sometimes, I notice that there are certain similarities between complaints against the horrible Vegas tourist and complaints against the Kardashian family. "You're a spoiled, entitled brat" who is "famous for nothing" and "sleeping around" to get ahead, packing your "overpriced designer clothes" in your "family baggage, which is like, Louis Vuitton baggage." Or something like that.
Don't take it to heart, it's likely not you personally, but it may have been said after you did something Kardashian-esque. It's okay - you didn't know! Put away that cry-face, Kim, we're going to go over the rules now so you don't hurt anyone ever again.
Don't Be a Kardashian:
1. You don't need a selfie every hour.
Hang on - before you get your panties in a twist, you should know: We're all for selfies! How else are you going to document the way those Bellagio fountains made you feel, or that delicious dessert for two you split at Carson Kitchen? Just please take a moment to disconnect and remember what it's like to live IRL (in real life). Vegas is full of distractions, many of them digital screens, bright lights, scantily clad women (and men), and it takes active effort & focus to pull away from our phones. We're all trying to be better at it, but try to remember you're on vacation and you can return to home on your home screen later. Think of it as procrastination and you'll achieve it easier.
2. You don't need to be a drama queen if you don't get your way.
This pertains to room accommodations, dinner reservations, a cocktail mixup, a transportation snafu, and many more variables that can be issues raised for your Kardashian family entourage. Yes, things may go wrong and deviate from the plan you had in your head, but when you're in a city of hospitality professionals, rest assured that it's nothing we haven't handled before. Take bad news with courtesy, patience and as much flexibility as you can muster. Freaking out angrily is a one-way ticket to lackluster solutions, because the hotel is probably already categorizing you as a problematic guest they just want to get rid of. Be friendly, and surprise! You'll be even more valued for being an awesome human being who didn't snap back like you could have and that's a welcome change of pace for most Vegas workers.
3. You don't need to look down on those with different tastes, opinions, and income levels.
Some people stay at Circus Circus, some people stay in an Aria Penthouse. Hey, everyone's different and looking to get other things out of their Vegas trip! If you think booking the most extravagant room automatically gives you the right to treat people like crap, you've got another thing coming. Probably spit in your food.
4. Don't blame others for your mistakes.
Here's the thing: Lost & Found for the average Joe is the same process as Lost & Found for a celebrity. You'll still file incident reports with the hotel, get an estimated compensation quote if it's deemed the hotel's fault, and life goes on. Most cases, it's probably the guest's fault for leaving something outside of the safe, or just around the cabana, slot machine or bar they were hanging out. I have personal experience with a certain Disney Channel star who left his wallet at a dayclub cabana, found it had been stolen by the masses surrounding the area when he came back, and immediately he and his girlfriend began social media blasting the hotel, venue, and all its employees for the theft. PR nightmare? Yes. Handled a bit more quickly? Sure. But the wallet remains unrecovered and no one's fault but Disneyboy's own for leaving it out in the open.
5. Walk the Strip judging everyone's physical appearance.
You're going to have a field day. And a bad time when all that judgmental negativity sucks the life-force out of you like an ugly, Kardashian dementor and replace it with words like "bae" and a hunger for overpriced fragrances.
Do These Like a Kardashian:
1. Hashtag your vacation
I'm totally on board with coming up with a hashtag specific to you & your crew's vacation shenanigans. Do this and you'll have easy-to-access tagging across multiple social networks to instantly collect your friends' pictures and see a hilarious timeline of all your crazy antics. Social game = #OnPoint
2. Celebrate the little successes in life.
Get down with your bad self!
3. Postpone your crying.
Save the drama and the belly-aching for AFTER the vacation. Your serotonin levels will thank you.
4. Break the Internet - because your butt looks good, too.
Ready for more Vegas? Hit us up for everything you'll need for the awesome Vegas vacation you've always wanted to Instagram for all your friends to show them the depths of your badassery.
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